spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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