she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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