went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
