fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you will always have a special place in my vag
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
