There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
