theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
