you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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