1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
How does one acquire holy water?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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