and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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