I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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