I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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