She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
