My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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