how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
