He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
