Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize