I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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