Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
