dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
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You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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