Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
