I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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