He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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