Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
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My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
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Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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