The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
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I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
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I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
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