Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize
