my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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