My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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