im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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