Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Randomize
