I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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