so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize