$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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