Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
