You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
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We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
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I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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