Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
