this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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