I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize