what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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