i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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