She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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