She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
