She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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