i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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