what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
