wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
