Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Actions speak louder than pants.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
