By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
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And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
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Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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