there's paper in my vomit.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
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you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Ladies don't puke and tell
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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