i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize