OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
