Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
