He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
