that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
MIDGETS
????
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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