What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
