How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
