was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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