I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize