theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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